Pain and Stress

     This week in class we talked about stressors. With any relationship comes stress. Actually, no, with life in general comes stress. There are so many troubling things out in the world today. There's school, work, family, and friends to worry about and including all of that in a relationship is just another thing to think about. I think in a relationship, it is so important to see your partner in a stressful situation. It can teach you so much about the other person and how they handle things. Everyone handles life's challenges differently and cope with things in certain ways so it's good to see how your significant other deals with hardships. Stress is a natural feeling and can be good sometimes, however too much stress can strain relationships with others. Stress can turn in to distress. The difference is stress is a feeling of frustration or feeling nervous while distress is feeling anxious and is more emotional. At times, stress or distress can come to be from pain. In a relationship, it is important to be able to express your feelings of pain with your partner rather than at your partner. Sometimes, stress can lead to pain which can lead to blame and resentment and that is where some problems in marriage stem from. Problems in a marriage can come from not understanding how the other deals with stress and not releasing or expressing the stress in a healthy way. 

    With stress there can also come anxiety. Anxiety is a natural perception of danger and it is there to help protect us. It is totally a natural thing, however some people suffer with anxiety for longer periods of time. This is more common than we think. It is important to communicate these feelings with your partner so they can help in any way that they can. I think at the end of the day, communication is absolutely key in a relationship. Having an open, honest relationship is key for a successful marriage. I am starting to learn this with my relationships. I have a tendency of getting anxious about a lot of things and over think everything. It helps talking things out honestly with my fiancé so it's not a surprise for when we get married. I'm not perfect at talking about my anxiety, but I am working on it and I truly believe that is helping our relationship and my health. Developing a relationship based on trust feels so relieving. 

    Along with stress from life, stress can come from being married. It can be stressful starting a new life with someone. Everything is new and different in life than it ever has been before. You have a new roommate, new way of doing things, new lifestyle, and someone new to care for everyday. You have new finances to worry about and so much more. However, now you have someone to worry with, and I think that is something to remember. You are now a team, you have someone by your side through it all. I think that is an important realization that every couple, whether married or not, needs to understand and develop. That you and your partner should act as a team and share the worries and troubles, you're not alone anymore. 

    In life, there comes hardships and trials, and it is important how a couple acts together. In a time of an actual crisis, it would be a good idea to see how the other responds and what resources are available to you as a couple. Some resources may include family, friends, education, teachers, counselors, and books. It is important that a couple has reliable resources to fall back on in time of trouble.