Engagement

 This week we're going to be talking about the next step in a relationship after courtship. This next phase in a relationship is a HUGE step and that is engagement. Engagement is when you've decided you want to be with your significant other for forever and all eternity. It is a very beautiful moment. However, from recent experience, it takes a lot of effort and a lot of and faith as this is a very important decision. 

    For me, to know my fiancé was the one for me, I prayed a lot, read conference talks and to be honest, just fully moved forward in faith. Now, I know everyone may not have the same beliefs as I do, and that's totally ok! This is just how I came to know for myself. To go along with following guidance from my Savior, I also began to to think how different my life would be without my fiancé and it made me incredibly sad. I've known my future husband since I was about fourteen years old. We dated for a little bit Junior year of High School, but I didn't know we'd get back together after a few years of not seeing each other as we both went our separate ways senior of High school and after graduation I went away to college and he served a two year church mission. Something i've learned about all of this is life is a funny thing as you really never know what to expect as people walk in and out of your life all the time, especially during young adult life. 

    Something that is so important when picking a spouse is to make sure you know each other's expectations. That is something my fiancé and I talk about a lot. We have little discussions on how we want to parent our future kids, how we want to treat each other, we've even had a discussion how we both expect our kitchen to be spotless every night before we go to bed. It will take a lifetime to figure out your spouse out for sure, but before stepping into a lifetime commitment, make sure you know your partners expectations and your own so you can avoid resentment as much as possible at the beginning of your marriage. 

    Find out how your partner spends his or her free time. This may seem like a random and small detail, but it is so important. This will held determine if you think you can live with that. See if his or her interest match and if you can spend your free time doing an activity you both enjoy doing. For example, my fiancé and I both love music. We both play piano and guitar so sometimes we sit down together and play music and just laugh together. It is so fun. Although opposite attract, it is still important to find activities you both enjoy doing and enjoy doing it together. 

    Another big thing that comes into play when you get engaged is how involved your immediate family is in your relationship. Once you're engaged and married, your issues become each other's and no one else's really. Everything is personal and of course seek counsel from loved ones, but at the end of the day decisions are to be made between the couple. Now, it may be sad and hard to not be in constant contact with your family as you're used to, but it is part of life. This is easier being said than done. I am currently having an issue with this concept as I am the last child out of five and I have a very protective family which I love, however it's becoming a little difficult to let go. But, ultimately I made this decision to be married to the love of my life and to start my own family with him and so I need to trust in him that we will both take care of each other and I truly do believe in us. 

    The next step in a relationship is then marriage...stay tuned for next weeks blog post!


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