Fatherhood

     We're going to take our relationship talk a little deeper and talk more about family relationships. Family is so important and societies view on it is changing rapidly. I believe in the traditional home, the one where the father and mother work as a team for their children. However, fathers have had this stigma for years that they do more harm than good. Society makes men seem unimportant, useless, and dumb when it comes to families and children. That is absolutely false and unfair. Studies have shown that fathers, or a male figure, play a huge role in a child's development.

    In an article I read The Science of Dad and the Father Effect, the author brings up great points as to why society's philosophy on men and fathers is wrong. The first point I will discuss is the affect that a father or male figure plays on a child. With the presence of an engaged father, children are less likely to act up and go to jail or drop out of school. Children have higher IQ scores, higher paying jobs, and more balanced, healthy relationships. I agree with this. Father's play a significant role in the success of their children. 

    Another thing important to fatherhood is it takes time.  Father's need to take time to develop relationships, just like everyone else does. Fatherhood includes taking quality time out of each day with their child and family, doesn't really matter the quantity of time, but more the quality. I can attest to this. Quality time is the best for any relationship, but it is really important that a father does this with his family. 

    Being a good father starts even before the baby is born or even conceived. A father has just as much of a duty to help make a healthy baby as the mother. Although the father may not be holding the baby, he is vital in order to create a life and he needs to be healthy. The food in take and how he treats his body is so important for a growing baby. The article says, "Studies suggest that men who binge drink before conception are more likely to have kids with congenital heart diseases and who abuse alcohol. Poor dietary choices in men can lead to negative pregnancy outcomes. At least one study suggests that men who are stressed before conception may predispose their offspring to high blood sugar." Fathers play a part in the physical well being of their babies as well. 

    Another part of fatherhood is that he is involved starting at pregnancy. A father needs to be a constant and that starts with pregnancy and labor, and continues through the child's whole life. Having an involved dad starting right when life begins is magical and special, and important for the baby. Fatherhood doesn't start once the child is a toddler or older, but starts right away once the child is alive. Children benefit more if their father was involved from the very beginning. 

    Fathers role is also to protect their family. Men are usually pretty good at that, and they're even better at it when they're in close relationships. Fatherhood may take time, but the family values the fathers loyalty and protectiveness. Fathers can provide a sense of safeness and security as they provide and protect. 

    While reading this article, I reflected on my relationship with my own dad. I am very lucky. My dad is genuinely one of my best friends, he's awesome. My dad and I have been best pals for quite some time now. I always want to be where he is when i'm home because he has been a constant in my life. I can always count on my dad to just sit down and listen to me at any given time. I can also count on him to make me feel better and make me laugh. Oh man can my dad and I just laugh for hours. Nothing is better than that. He has this big ole smile and belly laugh that is so contagious. You feel like a champion if you get him to laugh big. 

    When I was younger my dad had to travel a lot for work. He liked it to an extent because he got to travel the country and see some cool places. He's a very personable person and loved meeting new people at each location he went to. It got tiring for him for sure. Having a different place to sleep and not being with the family took a toll on him. But, he was so good at being present even when he was away, it's crazy! He would call my mom every night and I would have my turn talking to dad and we'd chat and laugh. I remember making signs for him and putting them on the front door or garage whenever he came home from a trip. If he came home late, he would still come upstairs and tuck us all in. When he wasn't traveling, he worked from home, and that was fun! He would wake me up with a song with on my guitar or acapella, whatever he was feeling, and then he'd make me waffles or eggs and walk me to school. The best part was after elementary school he would meet me in the parking lot across the street and we'd walk home together because he wanted to protect me from the teenagers that would hang out in the parking lot.  My dad has always been really good at spending quality time with his kids. When us kids were teenagers, he'd hand us the keys and we'd go on a drive with dad and we'd talk, cry, and of course laugh. Dad always has a positive outlook on things, and always wants to cheer people up. I have a really good example of a present dad, and it breaks my heart that people don't have a dad like mine. I'm one of the lucky ones. 

Krisch, Joshua A. “Scientists Finally Know What Dads Do for Their Kids.” Fatherly, 12 Nov. 2020, www.fatherly.com/health-science/science-benefits-of-fatherhood-dads-father-effect/.