Dating!

    Ok folks, this week we have a fun topic...dating. Dating these days is different than it ever has been  before. Just two centuries ago, dating seemed more personal and intentional as it was set-up face-to-face. There wasn't such thing as dating apps or just "hanging out". Back then people would actually just go on dates to have fun and to get to know another person better. People had manners, didn't make a big deal about things, and just enjoyed each other's company. Where as today, dating seems a lot more scary. There is for some reason this great expectation that dates have to be grand and expensive where it's quite the opposite. A lot of the time dates are set-up through social media or dating apps. It's not as personal. Also, the word "date" rarely comes up, it's usually "hang out" as that doesn't imply anything serious. 

    I think as a society we need to work on the stereotype of dating and get back to how it used to be, how it's supposed to be. Dating is supposed to be fun and enjoyable as it's a time to meet new people and see what qualities you want in a future mate. Dating does not mean courtship. There is a difference. Dating is when someone goes out with multiple people. Courtship is exclusive, where one is not showing interest in anyone else, just focusing on his or her partner. There are certain expectations called the three P's when it comes to dates. A date should be planned, paid for, and paired off. Going on a date that is planned is way more fun than figuring out what to do while on the date. Going to a date that is planned shows responsibility and thoughtfulness. When a date is well thought out and is paid for, it shows that the date is intentional. A date doesn't need to be expensive at all, but a little activity or a thought goes a long way. Lastly, a date should be paired off. Each date should have a partner that they're going out with, not like a hangout where a group is all talking together. A date should include a pair of people for the time being. 

    The three P's of dating correlate well with the three P's a men should have in the family. Men are to protect, provide and preside. For dating, a man protects his date when the couple is paired off. A date allows an opportunity to provide when he is willing to pay for at least a part of the date. Also, when he plans a date, he is presiding and showing responsibility for the date. Dating allows both men and women to practice their future family roles in a relaxed setting. That's the point of dating and courtship, to eventually find a future potential partner. When is comes to dating and courtship, the woman can practice her nurturing skills by either advising the male on what they can do or be a listening ear for him or by making a treat to equally provide as the male does. Dates allow people the opportunity to get to know one another. 

    In order to really know someone, there are three suggested tips called the three T's. To get to know one another is be together. Doing activities together and see how the other reacts in certain situation allows one to get to know the other. Talking is a huge one. Feeling heard and mutual self-disclosure is a big way to get to understand someone. Time is also a main key factor to know someone. It is predicted that it takes at least three months to actually get to know someone. There are more steps than we think to actually get to know one another. There is so much to a person, and sometimes it takes a lifetime to figure out as we're each trying to figure ourselves out too. However, that's where dating comes in as it is very beneficial to learn things from one another. Dating shouldn't be a scary thing, it should be fun and natural. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting

     I am just now realizing that this weeks blog is going to be about something tough. There are so many different ways and approaches to go about this in life, and no matter what, you're going to fail at something with it along the way and that is...parenting. Now, ever since I was a little girl I have always wanted to be a mom. As I watched my mom and other women around me, it just looked so fun. Family has always been the most important thing to me, my biggest priority, that's why I've always wanted to be a mom. To have a family of my own that I created. However, as I'm getting older, i'm realizing how incredibly hard and tiring it is. It's so fulfilling i'm sure, but a lot of guilt comes with it. It's also draining and confusing as every single child is different and expects and needs different things. The kids seem to always come first before anything else, and I'm sure that's tough on parents, but worth it, hopefully, at the end of the day...
Read more

Communication

     One of the most common issues in relationships, I would say, would have to revolve around communication. Communication is one of the hardest aspects to a relationship. It is nearly impossible to know and understand what everyone is thinking and feeling. Everyone is raised differently so we all expect things to be run differently. All of our minds think differently and at different speeds, it just seems impossible to to ever understand someone else's perspective. That is where good communication skills come in to play. If we don't communicate how were feeling or what we expect in a positive way, then that's where issues start developing. If you hold your feelings in or say things that you don't actually feel, that will lead to resentment and frustration with your partner. Not communication leads to a result of 51% of the issues, tone of voice is 35%, and the words spoken lead to 14% of the issues. The way we speak and the words we say really do play a factor in a re...
Read more

Pain and Stress

      This week in class we talked about stressors. With any relationship comes stress. Actually, no, with life in general comes stress. There are so many troubling things out in the world today. There's school, work, family, and friends to worry about and including all of that in a relationship is just another thing to think about. I think in a relationship, it is so important to see your partner in a stressful situation. It can teach you so much about the other person and how they handle things. Everyone handles life's challenges differently and cope with things in certain ways so it's good to see how your significant other deals with hardships. Stress is a natural feeling and can be good sometimes, however too much stress can strain relationships with others. Stress can turn in to distress. The difference is stress is a feeling of frustration or feeling nervous while distress is feeling anxious and is more emotional. At times, stress or distress can come to be from pai...
Read more